Dating - what does that mean?

So, I have been talking to some of you about the various intricacies of the dating world. The things we view as acceptable or not. We constantly ask, "Are our expectations too high?" "Has the women's liberation movement made us too strong?" "Are we hypocrits for wanting to have jobs, kids, partners that do laundry/cook, equal pay, and still be treated like a lady?" Is that we want to have our cake served to us on a silver platter but eat with a platinum fork?

I say there is nothing wrong with women having equal rights and the opportunity to pursue their dreams. I also think that the role of the man and woman can still be intact in the dating world. Just because we want the doors opened for us and the tab paid by the men doesn't mean we are greedy. There is nothing wrong with women hold power positions at work and still have a man treat her with respect by opening the doors and paying the tab. It is apart of nature for the males to pursue the women and woo them. In ancient times they fought for the right to claim you as their woman. As times evolved the fighting sometimes stopped but there was still the pursuit. The courtship was a major part of getting to know someone and finding out if they were the one.

I feel like dating today is so fast. There is no time to exchange emails before talking on the phone and once you talk on the phone there is the immediate jump to go on the date. Then you have to decide, will this be a first date kiss or not. By date 2 you pretty much know you are going to have to get the kiss out of the way because the guy is most likely going in for the kill. If you don't you will be labeled as a prude, immature, weird, etc. It's like jumping to the dessert before you have time to savor the appetizer and prepare for the dinner. It is not very satisfying.

I guess I am old fashioned when it comes to dating. I want to get to know people first. I want to be friends and find out the things that make them tick. Learn a little about what they do for a living, how they grew up as kids and a little about their day to day life. What their hobbies, who are their friends, what are their favorite foods, etc. Sure you can try and type it all up in a listed survey on one of the dating website but you miss out on the person's personalities.

I guess I am just out of sync with the rest of the modern world when it comes to dating. I am moving along through it okay but I do feel like there are pieces missing. It actually takes a lot effort to maneuver through the dating world both mentally and physically. It truly makes me understand why I always end of dating friends and co-workers, I already know a lot about them and it is easier to get to the core of a person when you are friends. I am learning and growing through the process. It will take me opening myself up more and allowing people in early on the process so that I can sift through the brown water as I search for my gold nugget in the dirt. Maybe one day I will be a pro at dating and not feel out of sync.

One thing I do know I am not going to sacrifice all my needs and wants. I want the man to open my doors, pay my tab, bring flowers, drive their own car and make the first move. I am tired of being in dead end relationships with men that don't know how to be a real man. No more men with endless debt and no ambition to go beyond their front door or to succeed in life. I want more for me and my future. As materialistic as it may sound, it really doesn't have a lot to do with money. The guy doesn't have to be rich. They just need to be fiscally sound and prepared to stay that way and make me feel spoiled even if they are just brining me a flower picked from a garden. A women can still feel spoiled with being showered with expensive gifts. It's all in the emotional thought and creative fortitude that will make the difference.